Dimocrats

I have to smile at the post-election antics of our Hollywood “Stars”.  After threatening, repeatedly, to “leave the country” or “go to Canada” if Mr. Trump won the election, I’ve noticed that since Mr. Trump won after all, en-mass they seem to be reneging on their campaign promise.  I understand that the weather in Canada is “too cold” all the sudden, or that it’s probably “to far” from the studio.  I’d also suspect that they’re somewhat concerned that Canada would deny them the political asylum that would further their publicity stunt.  Besides that, would any of ‘em really want to trade their cushy Malibu mansions for a life among all those “uncultured” rustic Canadians?  Oddly enough, with all the sudden concern about their reception in Canada, I haven’t heard of any of ‘em moving to Mexico either!  They’re probably worried about Mexico deporting them back to the U.S.!  (I wonder if we could refuse their return?)

Mike Pence’s trip to the theater didn’t end as badly as Abe Lincoln’s either, but I can just hear those entitled actors shouting “Sic semper tyrannis!” at him.  They had the gall to lecture Pence on the founding “ideals” of the country even as they throw infantile tantrums about those supposedly antiquated principles.  Of course those “ideals” they refer to originated, not in 1776, but more like 1966. And they’re not even ideals, but are little more than totalitarianism in which “freedom” and “justice” have no meaning apart from whatever liberals want at any given moment.  Perhaps the drug scene has fried their brains?  As one pundit put it, “At this rate, John Wilkes Booth may end up with a star on Hollywood’s walk of fame”, and I’m sure they’re mourning the recent death of that bastion of liberal thinking, Fidel Castro.

Apparently they are in a secessionist mood however.  Hollywood Dimocratic liberals are now considering an independent California through something they call “Calexit.” They would like to leave the country but without having to go through all the trials and tribulations of actually relocating to another country.  Besides, they can then elect Hillary as their President without all that outdated conservative contention, make Obama a justice on their Supreme Court, and out of our hair.  Still, I’d hate to see the United States break-up and go the way of the Soviet Union, which, with the exception of Russia has become little more than a loose confederation of squabbling third world countries. 

However, Calexit might not be all that bad an idea after all…  At least it would solve one set of problems facing our society.

Since the late 1950’s, conservatives and liberals in this country have more or less stuck together for the sake of future generations.  But our latest election has made me realize that this relationship has just about run its course.  The two ideological sides of America cannot agree on what is right for us, resulting in social and political stalemate.  So, rather than wreck the country with further rioting and an “unable to do anything” congress, let’s just chalk it up to irreconcilable differences, split the sheets, and each go our own way. 

Here are a few ideas for an equitable separation, adapted from comments in an e-mail I received recently. 

Consider, conservatives don't like liberal redistributive taxes, so California can keep them.  They’re also welcome to the liberal judges, liberal educators, NBC, the New York Times, and the ACLU.  Since liberals hate guns and war, the rest of us will take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the US Armed Forces. 

They can have wind, solar and biodiesel energy, and we'll take the smelly oil industry and those nasty coalmines.  They can have all the “Smart Cars” they can find, and we’ll keep the muscle cars, full size pick-ups, and SUV’s. They can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell as well, but good luck on finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.  We’ll give them Je$$e Jackson and Al Sharpton as well.  You can also have your beloved ObamaCare, a free college education, lifelong welfare recipients, hippies, druggies, illegal aliens, peaceniks, wild-eyed environuts, and assorted protesters.  However, I dunno what you’re going to do for a Big Mac once you get rid of all those methane-emitting cows.  Tofu burgers perhaps?

We'll keep the Ten Commandments and our Judeo-Christian values of course, while California is more than welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McClain.  I wonder if we could interest them in a few wolves and grizzly bears while we’re at it?

We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and the National Anthem.  I'm sure California would be happy to substitute "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing" or "We Are the World" which would probably attract a lot of rich NFL players.  Additionally, since it often offends them, we'll keep America’s Constitution, our history, our name, our flag, and capitalism.  As it seems to be much more in line with liberal goals and interests, they can have the Sierra Club, an open border with Mexico, diplomatic relations with the drug cartels, and the Rainbow Flag. 

They’re more than welcome to make nice with Iran and Palestine, while we'll retain the right to invade, romping and stomping all over those people and countries that threaten us or our allies.  They can also have the U.N. but we won’t be paying the bills anymore. 

Now that I’ve probably succeeded in antagonizing the entire loony left, and in the spirit of a friendly parting, I'll suggest they seriously consider which of us will need whose help in the next few years.